Why I can't afford to get divorced.
Living in a fast paced, everything is 'speedy & quick' society;
one thing is for sure to come slow & steady...a healthy marriage.
Notice I did not say "A PERFECT marriage"?
There is no perfect marriage and there is no easy marriage.
My husband and I celebrated 11 years of marriage May 3rd.
No, we didn't go on a cruise, buy expensive jewelry or
even go out to dinner together.
Instead, we had a nice dinner at home with our
son, watched our favorite TV show together
but most importantly, we stayed together.
I know what you're thinking....BUT, Tina, you don't even know...
you have never...
I do know and I have.
I have organized the following to answer a few questions so you can relate
to our 'challenges' over these last 11 years.
The challenges that kept us together instead of choosing a softer, easier way out and
getting a divorce.
"10 reasons God became most of your marriage"
1. Absence does make the heart grow fonder: my husband and my relationship grew even more by being over 3,800 miles away from one another for over one year. Communication IS the key.
2. Overcoming a lot: being from different countries, means coming from different cultures. Just because my husband speaks 'English' doesn't mean he's not foreign being from England!
3. Jesus saves: when I met my husband he was an atheist Jew! I'm either a great sales woman of Christianity or Jesus really does save!
4. My rock & my salvation: my husband wanted 10 children, after 3 years of infertility treatments and the loss of 1 baby...my husband was my rock & Jesus-my salvation! My husband loved me no matter how many children I could or could not have. Through a life threatening emergency surgery, one of our babies survived. We named him, "Victor".
5. Ministry is work: between my husband and I, we have been unemployed 4 times...but through it all...we continued God's ministries volunteering, becoming foster parents, leading Celebrate Recovery worship, mentoring & doing jails, prisons, drug treatment, & strip club outreach ministries.
6. We lost it all: In 2009, we lost jobs, our house, our 6 year old dog unexpectedly, our van, filed bankruptcy, moved over 1000 miles away from family & friends then lost our pride & humility. We lost it all...to only gain it all back through God.
7. Who's parenting who? As Licensed Therapeutic Foster Parents, we have parented a teenager and our own birth child. Yes, there are incredible foster parents out there and yes, a piece of our hearts left the day our foster son left us.
8. I respect my husband not because he makes millions of dollars, but because he makes minimum wage and is the RICHEST man I have ever known.
9. Our love endures forever, no matter where we live, what we drive or how much time it takes to scramble to pay a bill...we love one another till death does us part.
10. Our marriage is about us, God and our marriage counselor! Yes, we attend marriage counseling still...but not because our marriage is broke but because WE ARE BROKEN.
We brought lots of baggage to our marriage and it's each of our responsibilities to unpack those bags and heal from our past hurts.
So, why can't I afford to get divorced?
Not just because of financial reasons but
because we have invested our time, energy, love and lives to
being united as husband and wife.
We can't afford to get divorced because
we have a son that needs his parents together to care
about him, love him and show him how
marriage takes work, unselfishness and time.
Thank you for reading this.
If you would want to purchase my book, Let your lessons become your blessings
I write about how I survived and conquered many abusive relationships & adversities including addictions: